I found out a few weeks ago that my father did not go to my graduation. I have honestly tried to deal with this in the best way I can but for some reason I can't do it anymore. There's a story behind this.
Once upon a time this little girl's parents got divorced because they couldn't get along and always fought. This girl's mother favored her older sister over her and because of that the little girl's father took her under his wing and treated her extra nice. This made up a majority of the fighting that took place between her parents in this young girl's life. (not only does this little girl firmly believe her mother favored/favors her older sister, but it has been confirmed to her by several people that came into this girl's life as she was growing up.)ANYWAY, girl's parents divorce and her father remarries like... 2 months later I believe and she will absolutely never forget being told by her step mother that "if you want a relationship with your father you better get used to me because I come with the package!" I don't mean to be rude here, but to be honest, that little girl existed long before your new marriage so in actuality SHE came with the package, not your new wife. Anyhoo, as you can imagine being a 13 year old by itself was hard enough but she kinda grew to, well ,lets just say NOT REALLY GET ALONG WELL with the new wife and because of this, when it came time for her high school graduation, she opted to reserve the tenth ticket for her boyfriend with whom she had just had a child over the stepmom and because of this, her father decided not to attend her graduation.
I can totally see where, IN THAT MOMENT, choosing to hurt your 18 year old daughter because she hurt you sounds like a good idea, but seriously, did you ever think that HEY MY CHILD ONLY GRADUATES ONCE IN HER LIFE and she has plenty of time to learn to grow up and while she's acting immature I'll ignore it and carry on and won't stoop to her level?
I asked my father if there was any way he could help me financially to retain custody of my children, I was trying to get on my feet, trying to find a job, trying to do everything in my power to survive and he always turned me down for help. He kept telling me that I have an uncle with money and I should ask him, but the truth of the matter is this.. I ASKED MY FATHER, BECAUSE WHEN A CHILD IS IN DESPERATE NEED LIKE THAT, THE FIRST PEOPLE THEY SHOULD THINK OF IS THEIR PARENTS. In my eyes, he should have then asked his brother for help so that he could help his daughter out in her time of need. My MOTHER humiliated me. She told me that if I had sent an email to my family members on my father's side asking for help financially and if they all said no, that she would pay the debt I was asking for help with in its entirety. Not only did she respond inappropriately to their responses because I also sent it to her as proof that I sent the stupid email, but she didn't send me one red cent. I ended up paying a majoirty of the care note myelf, and still owe my boyfriend (whom I had been dating less than two months at the time) 300 dollars.
You see, I have three children with whom I have been battling for custody. They are my life, my light and my world. Without them, I feel like I do not even possess the energy to function properly. I would never in a million years for any circumstance miss their graduation. And if I ever did, I would hate myself for the rest of my life, and I would make so much effort to make it up to them.
Dad, if you ever read this, I honestly do not think there will ever be a point in my lifetime that you could possibly fix the hurt that you have caused. I love you, but you absolutely broke my heart.
As for my mother, I have always felt that I needed to prove myself to you.. I spent my entire life so far trying to gain acceptance from you, trying to get your attention and your love the way my sister has it. I constantly tell you how I feel and you spit back answers about it all being in my head etc. It's not all in my head mom, it's been validated to me by several people that saw it as I was growing up. I love you, but I honestly do not think you will ever grow up and it saddens me to know that I have tried so many times to fix our relationship but I'm coming to the conclusion that you are not worth the emotions you make me feel. I wish I could wash my hands of both of you the way I feel like you have done to me, but I have 2 parents in this lifetime, and no matter what, I am not going to turn my back on you two ever. I'm not perfect, I make mistakes (which my mother likes to point out to me on a constant basis) but that is one thing I will never do. If you ever need help from me all you have to do is ask and I'll make sure I do more than PRAY for you. I will do whatever I can for you.
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