To Each His Own

Just over 3 months ago Andy and I started dating. I also happened to get divorced the day BEFORE we became "official." I know it's only been a short period of time, but this man is freaking AMAZING to me, and has helped me in so many ways! He's standing back and watching me become the person I want to be and the person for ten years I could not be. He's has an incredible amount of patience with me and I am so glad I have found someone mature enough to handle all that I have in my life right now. But the thought of getting married scares the heck out of me. (NO we're not talking about it.. calm down) I want to get married, and I'm pretty darn sure if I do it will be to this man, but it won't be anytime soon. Now the reason I am typing this is this.


Brad got remarried today. We got divorced three months ago as stated above, and only separated nine months ago. I just don't understand how someone that obviously has family that love him nearby (because until two days ago he lived with his mother)and members of the church he's talking to like the Bishop, NOT TO MENTION A THERAPIST.. why these people didn't tell him he's crazy for remarrying so soon. He's known this woman for seven or eight months, and has only seen her a handful of times, and has only had the children interact with her like three times, and her daughter once... He's in for a lot of hard work and I'm honestly scared for my children because I have never once stopped thinking he's an abusive dickhead and I fear that his brash decision to get married will have an adverse effect not only on my children, but his mentality as well and that he will revert back to his old ways and take his anger and aggression out on my children. I'm trying extremely hard to be civil with him, and to not hurt anymore from this whole traumatic experience, but I honestly do not think he's a good parent. I don't think any amount of literature on the issue could prepare him for what he's about to face and, like I said, I'm scared for my kids.

Not only am I now dealing with Benjamin's behavior at school but I got a phone call today regarding Saria.. the word they almost used was "bullying" but it's not quite that severe yet. I have said all along that joint custody for my children is a terrible mistake (because I know my kids)but because I did not have money for a lawyer and none of my amazing family would/could help me in that area, the joint custody thing is PERMANENT until/unless I can get the school or a therapist to basically state that this is not working for the children's best interest. I am confident that that time is coming, I just hope he doesn't fight me for custody like a moron because he and I both know that my kids are my world and he became an active parent only just recently. It's the kids in the long run that ultimately will suffer, and I fear for them, but I know that they're bright, they're intelligent, and they will see the truth for what it is when they're old enough to. I wish him the best of luck, I honestly do, but I think he has made a terrible mistake... not my place to say though, so shutting up :)